Friday, December 18, 2009

Letting it Out

Today I was thinking (yeah, big shocker) about Vincent Luu. It's sad beyond words, but it brought to mind how little we say to those we admire, and how the only time your admiration may come to light is in their obituary. I tried making a list of how many people I admire who I've never said a word to, and who might never know. As a teenager, I know firsthand there will always be dark moments when you think nobody cares. I don't want people I know leaving without knowing that somebody thought they were cool, even if that somebody was just a freshman sitting in the corner or a little girl watching from the sidelines.

If you are on this list, I may not know you that well, but you may have made an impact on my life that I will never forget, you may be someone I admire, or, in a lot of cases, I may not talk to you a lot, if at all, but I think you are really cool.

1. Thomas
2. Mike
3. Rachel
4. Alix
5. Ben
6. Wolfe
7. Stephanie
8. Ava
9. Sushii
10. Keien
11. Alex
12. Yuling
13. Ali
14. Amanda
15. Sara
16. Aldrich
17. Juan
18. Thais
19. Saadia
20. Mr. Marra
21. Ms. Hill
22. Ms. Couper
23. Ms. Paregian
24. Ms. Trombley
25. Keisha
26. Tim
27. Elliot
28. Ryan
29. Mike
30. Maya

Disclaimer: If you are not on this list and call me a friend, then know you're not here because you should know that I love you and think you are amazing :)

This isn't some stupid chain letter, something I saw and felt bad about and posted, this is something I thought might make a difference. Guys, tell people you respect that you respect them; even the awesomest people have their doubts, and need to know that someone, somewhere, is better off because of them. Do this yourself if you feel like it, or not; just please think of the people you know, and let them know that they make a difference to you. No anvil's going to fall on your head if you don't do this, but if you do, post a note, make it your own, and spread the word. Thanks for bothering to read :)


Thursday, December 17, 2009


Sitting on the swings with my best friend next to me at Deanza Park, hair undone, giggling as we pass each other, a vibrant blue sky and the familiar park around me, memories swirling from youth, from swingsets past and teeter-totters and playing in the sand and lying in the grass, from falling off the swings to running on the wheel to playing Tickle Monster on the metal slide.

My iPod is on Shuffle for once, and yet manages to read my mind, playing mellow, sweet music as I fly up, and swoop down, holding my arms straight out and tilting my head back, closing my eyes and mouthing the words to my favorite songs. For the first time in my life, I think: I could die right now and be happy. My stomach no longer hurts, my mind is free of emotional restraints, and I am content. I am free. And, forgive the cliche, but I am alive.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Life? Complete.

Dear god, I cried laughing. I remember watching this as a kid with my parents, and only recognizing Elphaba and the Phantom.

After loving clips of Avenue Q, becoming obsessed with RENT, and picking up countless other references over the years, I finally found this again, and I GET IT.

"Hey everybody, I'm Mark, from RENT!"

"But then, we'll all join hands and sing the anthem of the 90's!" "Oh, please don't." "525,600 minutes..."


Peace out.